Occasionally as an Australian you’ll be talking to someone from overseas, and you’ll discover a common phrase you took for granted is, in fact, not universally known outside of our country.
Turns out casually dropping “fuck me dead” into conversation will give unsuspecting Americans an aneurism.
The more you know.
Imagine being on a work call with an Aussie and they suddenly announce they’re gonna blow a load in response to a problem.
Not Aussie but I asked an American once if she was taking the piss ( i.e. pulling my leg, joking. Perfectly cromulent and friendly english expression)
and she got really upset because she thought I was threatening to piss ON her
This is killing me
Rifling through the tags, here’s some other terms which are apparently causing mass carnage whenever they escape our borders:
Having a goon (i.e. Sipping on a delightful wine)
Having a gaytime (Eating an icecream)
Having a sticky beak (Investigating)
Take a squiz (To have a sticky beak)
Get stuffed (To express a revelation is most frightful)
Chuck a sickie (Take a day off work due to the humours being misaligned)
Chuck a wobbly (When one’s temperament becomes visibly upset)
Carry on like a pork chop (Acting most silly indeed)
Thongs (flip flops)
Hot chook (Pre-cooked supermarket rotisserie chicken, otherwise known as the Bachelor’s Handbag)
Fair suck of the sauce bottle (Let’s be real)
Shits me to tears (Something is mildly annoying)
Not here to fuck spiders (Expressing a situation is serious)
Having a piss-up (A social gathering)
I’ll shout you (offering to goon an old chum)
A cruisy place (a relaxed atmosphere, where one might shout and goon the night away while enjoying many a gaytime in your favourite thongs)
When you fuck up a work call so bad it gets your entire country trending on social media
A NATIONAL NEWS HOST has now weighed in on this post 😭
We are not a serious country
I can’t believe nobody mentioned “don’t piss in my pocket”, meaning “don’t pretend you’re doing me a favour”
I’m not american but I swear to god some of these if not most had to have been made up on the spot… It’s like someone fell off Babel and hit their head really fucking hard
“Charlie Kirk did not deserve to be assassinated, but I’m overwhelmed seeing the flags of the United States of America at half-staff calling this nation to honor and venerate a man who was an unapologetic racist.”
– Pastor Howard-John Wesley, Alfred Street Baptist Church
Here’s a related article by Aaron Morrison and Jaylen Green on AP News (they don’t paywall), covering Black church leaders speaking out about Kirk’s racism
considered putting “should I get tits” up to a discord poll but thought better of it. I’ll monetize my ambiguous gender & say if I reach 400 followers I’ll get tits. then I get two things I want: 400 followers, and tits
in law school, my mom took me to this stress retreat because my family was vaguely aware i was a suicide risk. and they didnt allow phones, so i brought this huge bag of books. and one of the options for “destressing” was this fake cave grotto thing, where they’d decorated a room to make it look exactly like an underground cave and the air was like -10 degrees, but there was a like 4ft deep pool in the middle that was kept super super hot, so you would just switch between the hot and cold. and they would bring you an endless supply of this weird syrupy drink thing that was like super caffeinated and tasted like sugar and mint. and so i spent multiple days sitting half submerged in this fake grotto drinking mystery liquid and reading. and i have to be honest i really did feel less stressed
-A good little loaf of bread
-Really likes birds
-Sleeps a lot
-Eats a lot
-28/pan/nb
-she/they/them
-Chaotic Bastard
Main blog only, I'll die like the deal creature I am when I make a separate blog. But really though, this is my only tumblr blog, everything will be here.
Sometimes I'll make my own posts, but they're usually really depressing, so you don't have to read them. It's just easier to take things out by writing them down and posting them on here.
